Don\'t get me wrong when I\'m with friends I am bubbly and very talkative but I hide what I\'m really thinking and feeling behind my personality, truth is I absolutely HATE myself!... I can\'t stand myself and I\'m almost certain if it wasn\'t for Bradley I would have self harmed or something!... Don\'t get me wrong Brett tells me everyday he loves me and I no he does but how can I be happy about it when I don\'t love myself!?,
I need to gain more self belief, confidence and just generally look at myself like I should instead of looking in the mirror and wanting to smash it up and cry as I do most days I actually want to stand there and think \'WOW\' look at me now!... I\'m really down in the dumps about myself recently and I don\'t like my thoughts!... It\'s awful actually sat there thinking about how you\'d be happier in death!... I shouldn\'t think that way but I admit it some days I do!... But I have an amazing little boy who is 13 months old who makes me feel so much better about myself he loves me for me!... When I have a down moment all I need is a cuddle from my peanut and I\'m instantly better in my mind if it wasn\'t for Bradley and Brett I would just crumble and quiet possibly I wouldn\'t be here right now :/
This is what keeps me going!!!
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