Well last week was my first week back on weight watchers it was also my \'star\' week an as we all know mother nature turns me into a machine!... But this week I fought back and lost 1/2lb!! Woo!...
I know it\'s not alot but that in itself is an accomplishment especially after gaining 2-3lb previous \'star\' weeks!... So happy!...
As I said before this is my second week ad I feel I\'ve done brilliant!... But my scales say differently!... I\'ve started Zumba been for 3 weeks it\'s great I go with friends and it\'s more of a night out then exercise haha!... A laugh and half!... Get weighed at 5:30 tonight so fingers crossed!... Woo!...
After Years Of Struggling With My Weight And Being Bullied I Have Decided Enough Is Enough! Time To Make A Change And Prove All Of Those Sad Low Lifes I Can Not Be Beaten!... Im Doing This For Me And For My Little Boy Too!
Wednesday, 14 March 2012
Monday, 5 March 2012
These Are My Confessions :(
I\'m going to blog about my real feelings as I need to talk to someone even if it is over the computer!
Don\'t get me wrong when I\'m with friends I am bubbly and very talkative but I hide what I\'m really thinking and feeling behind my personality, truth is I absolutely HATE myself!... I can\'t stand myself and I\'m almost certain if it wasn\'t for Bradley I would have self harmed or something!... Don\'t get me wrong Brett tells me everyday he loves me and I no he does but how can I be happy about it when I don\'t love myself!?,
I need to gain more self belief, confidence and just generally look at myself like I should instead of looking in the mirror and wanting to smash it up and cry as I do most days I actually want to stand there and think \'WOW\' look at me now!... I\'m really down in the dumps about myself recently and I don\'t like my thoughts!... It\'s awful actually sat there thinking about how you\'d be happier in death!... I shouldn\'t think that way but I admit it some days I do!... But I have an amazing little boy who is 13 months old who makes me feel so much better about myself he loves me for me!... When I have a down moment all I need is a cuddle from my peanut and I\'m instantly better in my mind if it wasn\'t for Bradley and Brett I would just crumble and quiet possibly I wouldn\'t be here right now :/
This is what keeps me going!!!
Don\'t get me wrong when I\'m with friends I am bubbly and very talkative but I hide what I\'m really thinking and feeling behind my personality, truth is I absolutely HATE myself!... I can\'t stand myself and I\'m almost certain if it wasn\'t for Bradley I would have self harmed or something!... Don\'t get me wrong Brett tells me everyday he loves me and I no he does but how can I be happy about it when I don\'t love myself!?,
I need to gain more self belief, confidence and just generally look at myself like I should instead of looking in the mirror and wanting to smash it up and cry as I do most days I actually want to stand there and think \'WOW\' look at me now!... I\'m really down in the dumps about myself recently and I don\'t like my thoughts!... It\'s awful actually sat there thinking about how you\'d be happier in death!... I shouldn\'t think that way but I admit it some days I do!... But I have an amazing little boy who is 13 months old who makes me feel so much better about myself he loves me for me!... When I have a down moment all I need is a cuddle from my peanut and I\'m instantly better in my mind if it wasn\'t for Bradley and Brett I would just crumble and quiet possibly I wouldn\'t be here right now :/
This is what keeps me going!!!
IM BACK!!!!
I\'m back and I\'m not the same chirpy person as before!!.. I\'m depressed and do low about my weight!... I\'m back on weight watchers I stopped November/December time as I couldn\'t afford it and because of this I gained!... Well not much as I maintained for a while!... But as off last week the 1st march I\'m back on it!... My weigh in weight was 17st 3lb!... BUT!!! I\'m struggling as mother nature as paid me a visit this week an I struggle Everytime she visits!... I\'m hoping for 1lb off!... Get weighed Wednesday so I\'m really nervous!... Also looking for more tasty meals that are healthy!...
Fingers crossed I can do this!
Fingers crossed I can do this!
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