Weight loss update!

I struggle losing weight and I can't see the difference which makes me feel like comfort eating but I have found some trousers that used to fit me (tightly) so here is the picture of me holding them up!

Depression!

I have to come to terms with the fact I am depressed... Everything at the min is getting to me I cry at the drop of a hat over the most ridiculous things!... So off to the doctors I go!...

I have also this past week been looking at myself in the mirror and not liking what's looking back to me to the point where I feel physically sick and repulsed I feel fatter now then I did at 19 stone!... I've had a good start to the morning after weighing myself it says 15stone 13lb!... FINALLY!!!...

As my heart condition is worsening I find myself unable to exercise as I'm always to tired to do so!... So this has took some time to come off!... It's hard work all this lifestyle change malarkey!... But whether it takes me 6 months or 2 years as long as its going down then that's all that matters!... Going to the cafe for lunch with friends so I can have a chat and get some normality, I plan to have omelette beans and chips... Yes not particularly healthy but for tea I will no doubt be feeling ill again and only able to manage soup!... So it balances out!...

Another week... Another rollercoaster ride!... <

White shirt was in may 2011, the blue dress is July 2012 what a difference in the face!!

The old me... To the new me (so far)

One photo is me at my biggest in the blue and white cardy!... And the other pic is me a couple of weeks back 3 stone lighter! <3

Back on track!!

Back on track as from yesterday I was ill last week and also my star week so I struggled I refrained from weighing myself as I know it would have knocked me back confidence wise... Tbh I can't be arsed to weigh myself anymore as I feel so down when the scales go up so I might just keep at it then wait till I go to the hospital every month and just get them to weigh me!... Another month another stone! I CAN do this!!! <3

Water week!

Did a whole week with only drinking water and nothing else!... Was hard at first I got shakes and everything due to the fact I only drank fizzy diet as it was pointless!... So a week of water was hell for the first 2 days... After that it got better and I was pleased with the result as I lost 3lb! Woo!... This week I am still doing the water thing but allowing myself 1 drink at night of fizzy or cuppa tea!... Fingers crossed for a good week although I'm ill so it's a bit difficult :(... Xx

Been a while!

Been a while since I last blogged!... Well not much has happened since last time!.. I went to Leicester to see my surgeon and he weighed me I now weigh 16.4... I just need to lose 1/2lb and then I've lost a stone!... This week has been my woman's week an I've stayed the same yippee!!... I'm back on it now tho so fingers crossed!... I've quit weight watchers as I can afford it so from now on its just me that's going to be on the journey!... Next weigh in is on Friday I'll report back then

16.4 TODAY

Having a week off!

I'm still on the diet I'm just taking this week off for weigh in!... To be honest I haven't the funds to get weighed as we went to download festival so that's another reason!

I'm still sticking to the diet so hopefully when I go back I would have lost lots!... Lol fingers crossed! I gained last week 1lb but I had a birthday BBQ so was expected I will be thin one day you just have to work at it!... Fingers crossed this week and next is a better one!... :)

BBQ, Friends And Food = Gain!

06-06-12

For my birthday I've had a BBQ jubilee theme and it was great... Great people and also great food!... How can you have a healthy BBQ!... Well because of this BBQ and over indulgence I had I've gained 2&1/2lb according to my scales!... This just means I've gotta work extra hard from now!... I haven't fell off the wagon just enjoyed myself a little too much perhaps? Lol!...

So as I stand 16.9... I need to be in the 15 mark soon which I haven't seen on the scales in like forever! <3

2012 is going to be my year!!

31/05/2012

It's been a while since I blogged I have been on and off weight watchers for months now and I went back upto 17st 3&1/2lb... I've been back on it 3 weeks now for good an I've lost 10lb so far!... Woop!... I am on a roll!... I am now 16st 7lb so another 3&1/2lb and I've lost a stone!...

I need to do this as I've got a major operation coming up!... Which is scary!... :(... But I've got this weight loss to take my mind completely off the operation otherwise I would be a mess!...

My little boy is my encouragement as I want to be a mummy he is proud of and that can play football with him an take him long bike rides etc... He's a sweetie and loves me for me!... Wouldn't change him for the world!... <3

2nd Week Back on Weight Watchers!

Well last week was my first week back on weight watchers it was also my \'star\' week an as we all know mother nature turns me into a machine!... But this week I fought back and lost 1/2lb!! Woo!...

I know it\'s not alot but that in itself is an accomplishment especially after gaining 2-3lb previous \'star\' weeks!... So happy!...

As I said before this is my second week ad I feel I\'ve done brilliant!... But my scales say differently!... I\'ve started Zumba been for 3 weeks it\'s great I go with friends and it\'s more of a night out then exercise haha!... A laugh and half!... Get weighed at 5:30 tonight so fingers crossed!... Woo!...

These Are My Confessions :(

I\'m going to blog about my real feelings as I need to talk to someone even if it is over the computer!

Don\'t get me wrong when I\'m with friends I am bubbly and very talkative but I hide what I\'m really thinking and feeling behind my personality, truth is I absolutely HATE myself!... I can\'t stand myself and I\'m almost certain if it wasn\'t for Bradley I would have self harmed or something!... Don\'t get me wrong Brett tells me everyday he loves me and I no he does but how can I be happy about it when I don\'t love myself!?,

I need to gain more self belief, confidence and just generally look at myself like I should instead of looking in the mirror and wanting to smash it up and cry as I do most days I actually want to stand there and think \'WOW\' look at me now!... I\'m really down in the dumps about myself recently and I don\'t like my thoughts!... It\'s awful actually sat there thinking about how you\'d be happier in death!... I shouldn\'t think that way but I admit it some days I do!... But I have an amazing little boy who is 13 months old who makes me feel so much better about myself he loves me for me!... When I have a down moment all I need is a cuddle from my peanut and I\'m instantly better in my mind if it wasn\'t for Bradley and Brett I would just crumble and quiet possibly I wouldn\'t be here right now :/



This is what keeps me going!!!

IM BACK!!!!

I\'m back and I\'m not the same chirpy person as before!!.. I\'m depressed and do low about my weight!... I\'m back on weight watchers I stopped November/December time as I couldn\'t afford it and because of this I gained!... Well not much as I maintained for a while!... But as off last week the 1st march I\'m back on it!... My weigh in weight was 17st 3lb!... BUT!!! I\'m struggling as mother nature as paid me a visit this week an I struggle Everytime she visits!... I\'m hoping for 1lb off!... Get weighed Wednesday so I\'m really nervous!... Also looking for more tasty meals that are healthy!...

Fingers crossed I can do this!